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Real
life marriages are not healthy 100% of the time. Every couple goes through hard times. If your marriage is currently
going through a hard time, there are ways to pull it through these hard times and heal the relationship. However
the longer that you wait to heal your relationship the harder it is going to be. Start the process of healing today
and you will be that much closer to returning to your dream of a happy, healthy lifelong marriage.
While
a small minority of marriages need to be terminated by divorce the vast majority can return to a healthy state
that is satisfying for both partners. It's not easy and will take time and a lot of effort, but in the long run
it's not only easier than divorce but you, your spouse and your children will be much happier and better off for
healing the relationship rather than terminating it.
We
want to help you replace the pain and misery that you currently feel in your marital relationship with the joy
and happiness that used to be present. We have developed a list of resources that are available to help you gain
the relationship skills and knowledge to heal your relationship.
Hopefully,
both you and your spouse are willing to do the work necessary to heal your marriage. If you both are willing,
and both participate in the appropriate programs, the odds of your ending up happily married (to each other!) are
extremely high. But what if you are the only one who wants to work on the marriage and your partner has given
up? Is it hopeless? Not at all. This means you will have to make the first move and be the first
to change. Some of the programs described in this section can be implemented even if only one of the partners
is motivated to save the marriage.
We
also highly recommend that you consider visiting with a marital therapist. A marital therapist acts as a river
guide as you maneuver through the dangerous rapids of an unhealthy marriage. Most couples would never attempt going
down the rapids in the grand canyon without a river guide, so why are couples resistant to hiring a marital therapist
to help guide them through a rough patch of marital water?
Right now you are
going through some very dangerous relationship rapids, and we highly recommend that you hire a guide to help navigate
you through these rapids. Finding the right marital therapist for you and your spouse is going to take some time
and effort on your part.
We
highly recommend that you ask potential therapists the following five questions suggested by Bill Doherty in a
presentation at the 1999 Smartmarriages conference:
1. "Can you describe your background or training in marital therapy?" If the therapist is self-taught
or workshop-trained, and can't point to formal supervised training in this work, then consider going elsewhere.
2. "What is your attitude toward salvaging a troubled marriage versus helping couples break up?" If the
therapist says he or she is "neutral," or "I don't try to save marriage, I try to help people,"
look elsewhere.
3. "What is your approach when one partner is seriously considering ending the marriage and the other wants
to save it?" If the therapist responds by focusing only on helping each person clarify their personal feelings
and decisions, consider looking elsewhere.
4. "What percentage of your practice is marital therapy?" Avoid therapists who do mostly individual therapy.
5. "Of the couples you treat, what percentage would you say work out enough of their problems to stay married
with a reasonable amount of satisfaction?
In
addition we recommend that you also ask the following six questions:
1.
How much do you charge per session and do you accept insurance?
2.
On average how many sessions do you have with a couple?
3.
How do you view your role as a therapist in a session?
4.
What are your expectations of us as clients?
5.
What are your goals as a therapist when you are working with clients?
6.
Briefly describe what we can expect to get out of therapy sessions with you.
Once you are on
your road to recovery we recommend you take some of the marriage education courses to gain additional relationship
skills and knowledge that will help you continue to sustain a healthy marriage. We also recommend you continue
taking refresher courses throughout the rest of your life in order to decrease the chances that you will ever find
yourself in this position again.
If you have a self-help
program for couples in unhealthy marriages and would like it to be added to this list please send us an email.
The following self-help programs
have been designed to help couples in unhealthy marriages acquire the relationship skills and knowledge to maintain
a healthy marriage.
|
Program
|
Description
|
Contact Information
|
| Healthy Marriage Weight Loss Program |
This online program has been designed to help people attain and maintain a healthy
weight, healthy marriage and a healthy self. |
Click here to learn more about this program |
| Healthy Relationship Dating Program |
Over 200 ideas of fun dates you can go on and strengthen your relationship at the same time. |
Click here
to visit the Healthy Dating Program
Webpage
No cost. |
| Keys to Unlocking the Door to a Healthy and Happy Marriage |
This pamphlet series teaches basic relationship skills and knowledge that can help a couple form
and sustain a healthy marriage. |
Click here to read and print the pamphlets
No cost. |
| Getting Unstuck Video Workshop |
Working with real couples, Michele Weiner-Davis teaches four down-to-earth relationship skills illustrates
a series of exercises couples can perform at home to begin to effect relationship change right away. You ll learn
to stop pushing your partner s buttons in negative ways and to start pushing them in positive ways&to get better
at setting positive, action-oriented, attainable goals&and to think more creatively about change. |
To order this video for $49.95 call 866-818-5530 |
| The Couples Workshop Series |
In this DVD, designed to fit your busy lives, learn how you and your partner can better cope with
life''s stresses and support one another. With guided instruction and a series of practical exercises, you''ll
enjoy sharing this workshop with each other. Learn how to renew intimacy, enhance respect, and strengthen your
love, commitment and friendship. Gain lasting tools to communicate and resolve conflicts with calm and care. This
user-friendly DVD workshop includes 4 DVDs and a manual, complete with workshop exercises. All materials and presentations
are based on John Gottman''s 30 years of research with couples. |
To order this DVD or VHS workshop for $200 call 866-818-5530 |
| Saying "I Do": Consider the Possibilities |
This free online marriage education program has been designed by researchers at Utah State University
to help you learn the skills and knowledge that can help you form and sustain a healthy marriage. |
To enroll in this free online course click here and you will be redirected to their login page.
Type in the ID:marriageprep
and your Password is: guest |
| 10 Great Dates Video Series |
10 Great Dates Video Series helps spark romance with memory-making evenings built on key, marriage-enriching
themes. Enjoy your dates alone as a couple or use this resource to initiate an ongoing marriage enrichment program
for your church or group. |
To order this video series for $99.95 call 866-818-5530 |
| His Needs Her Needs: Habits for a Lifetime of Passion |
In this 12 lesson course Dr. Harley leads you step by step through the process of becoming irresistible
to each other. The package includes: Six compact disks recorded by Dr. Harley, one copy of His Needs, Her Needs
(Hardcover), Lesson Assignments manual, and his 5 Steps to Romantic Love workbook. |
To order this 12 lesson course for $130 call 866-818-5530 |
| Relationships Video Curriculum |
Dr. Les and Leslie Parrot teach couples how to have a successful relationship by living
principles taught in the Bible. |
To order this video workshop for $99.95 call 866-818-5530 |
| The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work |
In this video Dr. Gottman presents his research-based seven principles that guide couples on the
path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward in their approach, yet profound in their
effect, these principles teach partners new and startling strategies for making their marriage work. Based on Dr.
Gottman''s New York Times best selling book, The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work. |
To order this video workshop for $29.95 call 866-818-5530 |
| The Second Half of Marriage Video Series |
Most marriage courses focus on newlyweds. This ground-breaking video curriculum is designed to help
the aging boomers/empty nesters reinvent their marriage.In it Dave and Claudia Arp reveal the eight challenges
of the empty nest years and with wit and wisdom offer strategies for meeting each challenge. Kit includes 2 one-hour
videos, 1 Participant s Guide and 1 Leader s Guide. |
To order this Video Series for $89.95 call 866-818-5530 |
| Love Busters: Overcoming Habits That Destroy Passion. |
In this 12 lesson course, Dr. Harley helps you get what you need from your spouse and give what
your spouse needs from you. It begins by eliminating Love Busters.
Audio Package: Six compact disks recorded by Dr. Harley,
one copy of Love Busters (Hardcover), Lesson Assignments manual, and the workbook, 5 Steps to Romantic Love. |
To order this 12 lesson course for $130 call 866-818-5530 |
| The Marriage Breakthrough® Interactive Seminar |
This package contains two DVDs which capture the full content of Michele Weiner-Davis's day-long
live marriage enrichment/divorce prevention seminar for couples and a 12 page booklet containing seminar outline
and exercises that you and your spouse can complete to fully participate in the seminar. |
To order this interactive DVD seminar for $149.95 call 866-818-5530 |
| Fighting for Your Marriage Video Workshop |
This video guided workshop for couples helps you learn and apply the PREP skills and principles
to help your relationship stay healthy.
Couples Workbook Video One: Ground Rules for Fighting and Loving
Couples Workbook Video Two: Using the Speaker-Listener Technique to Manage Conflicts
Couples Workbook Video Three: Problem Solving Made Easy
In addition to the three videos this package also includes to participants workbooks. |
To order this workshop series for $130 call 866-818-5530 |
| DNA of Relationships DVD Series with Gary and Michael Smalley |
Watching this new 6 hour DVD seminar you'll learn:
How to eliminate the number one cause of relational conflict
1.Four ways to create a safe place for love
2.Four ways you can control all of your own emotions and greatly lower your stress level
3.Three key choices that bring you complete happiness in life 4. The most powerful communication method on earth
5. How God has designed you for love
6. Why the people using these principles found a 73% increase in their relational satisfaction |
To order this DVD seminar for $99.95 call 866-818-5530 |
PAIRS
Wisdom Series |
This 6 CD audio workshop is taught by Lori Gordon, the founder of the PAIRS program. In it
she teaches the skills and knowledge that have helped thousands of couples who have gone through the PAIRS program
build and sustain healthy marriages. |
To order this CD workshop for $79.95 call 866-818-5530 |
| Romance on a Shoestring Game |
Romance on a Shoestring begins as a game you play once a week, but it can last
a lifetime.
A shelf of self-help books, psychological wisdom and 120 romantic ideas--all
wrapped up in a fun and playful game. |
To order this game for $49.95 call 866-818-5530 |
| Sex & Romance in the Biblical Marriage |
This 6 hour video workshop, taught by Jim Sheridan, covers basic skills and information about sex
and romance from a biblical perspective |
To order this video workshop for $150 call 866-818-5530 |
Specific Disclaimer
The National Healthy Marriage Institute LLC (NHMI) does not examine, determine or warrant the competence of any
of the products or services listed in this website. Use of this website to locate products and services is completely
voluntary and will not result in any liability against the NHMI. In no event shall the NHMI be liable for damages
to any user of the website for the voluntary selection of any of the products and services listed in the website,
for the services provided by any service provider listed herein, or for any other damages which may occur. The
NHMI cannot and does not provide any warranties related to the information contained in or resulting services from
the products and services that are linked to from this website.
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